Topic suggested by aruLarasan on Mon Apr 12 18:10:58 .
All times in EST +10:30 for IST.
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here i go. don't know if i can call it a story. i'll leave it to you to decide.
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Responses:
- From: sathiya (@ annex2-p3.qualcomm.com)
on: Tue Apr 13 00:44:41
arul,
Good one.
".. ڙ ʪ
?" 쿽 .
nitharsanamaana vari arul! ungaL nadiyum
rasikkak koodiyathaay irukkirathu. Loved
the similies like 'thani maramaagha niRpathu'
'bhoomikku vaiththap ponpidi pola'
'everything else is just details.' - ithu pOnRavatraith thamizh paduththiyirukkalaam.
kumudham 'lights on' style-lil irukkiRathu ithu.
- From: shiva (@ user.pghlogistics.com)
on: Tue Apr 13 09:04:11
nalla thelivaana flow...athuthaan plus point..
but anganga accent maaruthu..like say oru vaatti paaesarppa brahmin accent irukku..innoru vaatti illa..
apram neraya characters create pannirukkeengaa...but ravi ya thavira vaera yaarumae emtha vithamaana baathippaiyum erpaduththalaa...
these are my sincere comments..
pls take it in the right sense..;-)
and do write more
- From: Kanchana (@ spider-ta071.proxy.aol.com)
on: Tue Apr 13 09:48:31
aruLarasan,
I don't remember reading a story which touched me like this one in a while. Everything else, as you would say, is details.
Keep writing more to polish on the details too, however. Look forward to more.
- From: sun aka sooriyan (@ 192.149.1.168)
on: Tue Apr 13 16:01:28
Very good one aruL.
- From: Udhaya (@ 205.218.142.217)
on: Tue Apr 13 17:50:28
Tharrkolai...aduththavan azhuthaalum thannilai usaththi ennum aanavam--Prophetic words, Arul. The central character's pain, his search for peace in a rocky emotional state all register perfectly on the reader's mind. You have captured chaos and put it through slow scan so we all take it in fully. Good work. Naturally, we need more from you.
- From: aruLarasan (@ psiphi.umsl.edu)
on: Tue Apr 13 17:58:31
sathiyA, shivA, kAnchanA, sUriyan, thanks a lot for your comments.
sathiyA,
first thanks for your comments and compliments. a question: what do you mean by "kumudha lights on stylil
irukkiRadhu"? can you please explain. (this would really help me to develop on and avoid certain styles.)
kAnchanA,
that's the best compliment one could hope to get. thanks.
shivA,
this story(?!) is a part of a bigger package :-) all the characters will be slowly and steady introduced and
defined. (hopefully i find time and sustained interest in posting here!) coming to the fluctuating accent
in the story: i don't find any change in "accent", but definitely there is a fluctuation in the style. the author
starts telling the story and slowly ravi's feelings seem to out in the first person and the author ends
the story. i tried to bring this out without saying explicitly that ravi thought "..."; in hence the
deliberate absence of double quotes at those times. i tried to relax the thamizh very much when ravi was
thinking aloud and use marabuth thamizh when the author spoke. the point is: the fluctuation in the thamizh was
deliberate. btw, thanks for your comment on the flow. makes me feel good to write such a depressing story:-)
- From: aruLarasan (@ psiphi.umsl.edu)
on: Tue Apr 13 18:03:59
udhayA, coming from seasoned writer like you is a real booster. thanks for your comments.
- From: Gokul (@ gatekeeper.ohioedison.com)
on: Tue Apr 13 19:15:31
aruL, You have my comments on this.so I am skipping this.
- From: bb (@ bernstein.crhc.uiuc.edu)
on: Tue Apr 13 22:08:13
aruL, a real good one from u, and the best thing in the story is that u keep the flow going without searching for words and repeating motifs. great! kayiRRaravu levelle irukku! i concur with sathya that english sentences could have been avoided.
- From: sathiya (@ skrithik.qualcomm.com)
on: Wed Apr 14 13:48:00
arul,
Kumudham lights on - used to talk about cine
stars and happennings. It will have a paragraph
for each item (of course in tamil)with an English expression as the
closing sentence (punch!). I felt the same thing
in some parts of the story. Hence the comment.
Nowadays,a guy called sunil is writing "Sights on" in
A.vikatan on TV shows in similar style.
- From: Chandra (@ viking.delta-air.com)
on: Wed Apr 14 16:47:42
aruLarasan,
It is quite touching.
I liked the comments about selfishness of suicide.
The overall good style was marred by some avoidable english and some really avoidable english expletives.
Some incosistency wrt dialect and style [pointe dout already by Ravi?] was sensed by me.
[appan ketakkAn etc.]
While I understand the justification for that, still it somewhat affects the experience of the reader unfavorably since there is a subsconscious tension introduced by this.
The "matharththa ..matavAr ..." sentence looked like a pretty one but could not be appreciated fully due to some typos or some problems. Could you clarify the sentence?
Very few oRRu mikai errors.
The narrative started off in very elegant Tamil with beautiful words like n-uthal, poRpiti etc.
Chandra
- From: Mukund (@ bart.americas.nokia.com)
on: Wed Apr 14 17:36:00
Hi arul,
Very impressive. I felt it very very comfortable to to read through the whole story. the flow was smooth.
It was easy to think along with Ravi in the story.
Mukund
- From: SA (@ spider-ta064.proxy.aol.com)
on: Wed Apr 14 19:02:49
Arularasan,
Excellent work! Easy flow as Mukund says. Who is Sushmita to Ravi?
- From: aruLarasan (@ psiphi.umsl.edu)
on: Wed Apr 14 19:04:38
sathiyA,
thanks for the explanation. ennavO EdhOnnu bayandhu pOyttEn :-)
bb, chandhrA and mukund, thanks for your comments.
bb,
who or what is kayiRRaravu? who/whatever it is i take it as a compliment.
chandhrA,
when kaNNagi goes to madhurai, she laments many things among which there are these two beautiful varigaL
mAdharth thagaiya madavAr kaNmunnarE
kAdhaR kaNavanaik kANbanE IdhonRu
mAdhar, i think, means kAdhal here. hence mAdharth thagaiya madavAr means virumbath thakkap peNgaL.
i just changed it to mAdharth thagaiya madavAr thammunarE and due to obvious ineptitude in thamizh couldn't
find appropriate adi to follow and hence ended up messing it up :-( i should have written something like
mAdharth thagaiya madavAr thammunarE kAdhaliR RalaiyAya kaniyA yoruthuNaivi refering to sushmithA in the
story. somehow got fascinated with the phrase dhEvadhai thuNaivi and hence the confUson!
btw, can you please, if time permits, point out the oRRup pizhaigaL (p varumA? :-) ). i know there are some
thphos :-) like jangaL...
regarding the "excessive" usage of english, "hey it is modern maNippravALam" :-) just kuzhandhaiying ;-)
to me, wherever i used english (only in conversations except "everything else is details" even which is
ravi's autophone :-) - thanakkuth thAnE pEsik koLLudhal.) that's what seemed to be more natural. i will try to
"stick" to thamizh in the future.
regarding change in nadai, i overlooked "avan kedakkAn" in my reply to shivA. yes,that should have been
"avan kadakRAn". but for that, the change was deliberate. i take your "affects the experience of the reader
unfavorably since there is a subsconscious tension introduced by this" comment to be a compliment :-) (of course,i am
deliberately supraconsciously :-) avoid the word unfavorably :-) )
thanks everybody for all your encouraging comments.
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