Topic suggested by Babu on Sun Feb 21 11:07:45 .
All times in EST +10:30 for IST.
|
|
Responses:
- From: Kanchana (@ spider-we023.proxy.aol.com)
on: Sun Feb 21 13:30:35
Babu:
An excellent creative effort centering around an issue which is taboo in most societies (not just in India). Kudos to you.
The characterizations for Nandhini and Ezhil are good. The plot is strong, but I wish it did not have to end in a suicide [am I being too ignorant here re what gays have to go thru?] Is the ending only because a gay man has no way out or is it because paarththi is a married man? If it is the latter, then there are heterosexual analogs to the situation and you could have dealt with it similarly from a creative perspective (IMHO). At one level, the whole thing is more of a personal/private issue between nandhini, pArththi, and ezhil, and less of a social/moral issue.
The language and insights in "nilAkkAdhal" kavidhai are excellent.
After some editing and refining, I hope you'll submit this for publication. Continued good luck!
- From: babu (@ 198.153.135.235)
on: Sun Feb 21 13:39:07
Thanks Kanchana. I am happy you liked it too. You have raised a very interesting question (Is the ending only because a gay man has no way out or is it because paarththi is a married man?) The answer is the former. If you remember, he tells Nandhini as to how tormented he is about this unrequited love. IMO ezhil would have done ended his love for paaththi anyway and paarththi's marital status only hastened his end.
I am not sure if Tamil Mags will publish this, I am planning to give it a try anyway.
Thanks again.
- From: sathiya (@ 129.46.85.87)
on: Sun Feb 21 15:08:36
babu,
I sincerely followed your serial. Very good job!
Honestly this is an excellent work. you portrayed
the characters very well. I liked the narration
style too where the character themselves speak
up the story.
Though the issue you have taken (as kanchana
rightly says that it) is still considered to be
a taboo in Indian soceity, you added a very poetic
and sentimentalistic colour to that. Please
try to get it published.
ґ ... ґ avanathu uNarchchigaLaik kavithaiyaaghaa mika arumaiyaaghak kAttiyirukkireergal.
Though the ending is dramatic, it strikes the
heart with the very true fact that Going across
stereotypic convictions and notions are not
very easily accepted - atharkAka palavatrai
thiyaagam - thiyaagam kooda illai
bali yida vEndiyirukkiRathu.
Good work and keep it up!
- From: balaji (@ schubert.crhc.uiuc.edu)
on: Sun Feb 21 17:07:18
babu: good one! somehow i felt that the story ends abruptly and particularly the last episode can be read in a couple of minutes as there is nothing unexpected in it.. may be u could have continued on it..
- From: babu (@ 198.153.135.231)
on: Sun Feb 21 20:10:58
Sathiya, thanks a lot, I like your comments.
Balaji, thanks. About the story ending abruptly, I cannot help it ! As I had mentioned earlier, this story was not intended to be a serial kathai, it was one big short story :-) I just posted it in parts and so the final episode is short. I could have continued it, may be I will write a sequel to it.
- From: bull (@ cache.mch.sni.de)
on: Mon Feb 22 03:01:27
BB: I think that its better that it ended with a short final episode than going on and on like a TV-serial! :-)
Babu: I would have thought that you took a short-cut by killing ezhil, but you did it slightly differently by making him commit suicide so dramatically and you do justify it to a great extent in the afterword. Great stuff... keep it on!
- From: babu (@ 198.153.135.42)
on: Mon Feb 22 10:10:54
Thanks bull
- From: pae (@ global22.citicorp.com)
on: Mon Feb 22 10:16:40
Babu, good work. Since, Ezhil is Parth's mentor/philosopher...etc. how come Parth does not understand Ezhil's motive. As Nandhini could easily figureout his motive after few encounters, it is surprising Parthi does not seem to know of it. Or, am I missing something ?:))
- From: chandra (@ viking.delta-air.com)
on: Wed Feb 24 19:01:45
Babu,
A real good work and good plot. I liked the pace of
the story and the tight focus;
especially the theme which we all acknowledge is
almost a taboo.
I do not have problem with the suicide per se
(it is a different issue altogether anyway).
My issue is with developing the plot to lead to the suicide.
It is mainly because the story somehow has not conveyed
how pArththi had no inkling of the homosexual motive of
and advances made by ezhil. And how much ezhil had tried
to make pArththi understand his feelings. Actually it is not clear
where ezhil had intended to take his feelings for pArththi; this,
notwithstanding his discussion with nan-dhini at the restaurant.
If pArhthi were not gay, he
would certainly have felt revulsion, more than n-andhini did,
at some of the "petting" made by ezhil; if he were,
then I would have expected different description of his behavior.
Or is it considered a standard technique to deliberately do so
and leave the reader wondering?
I have not read a short story in a dozen years or so.
Some style comments:
That "digital kadiyAraththil" thing seems to be strange
and cliche [from the seventies?]. It reminded me of
some authors from that era. I am all for such descriptions
[classical Tamil literature would be dry and have much less
historical value without the long descriptions]
but I was simply curious whether you used it deliberately or
did it come about as a cliche ;-)
Another one (from movie dialogue styles)
seems to be the "n-An eppadi..n-an en manasai..."
piece from ezhil to n-andhini. The incomplete "n-An eppadi" clause reminded me of the style that is wont with kArthik etc. [started by kamal?]
[it got to a really exasperating state with his movie "pUvEli" which I watched here in Atlanta. The college-going audience seemed to be completely irritated with his incomplete sentences many of which ended lik "eppadi..". ]. Did you have such a style in mind for your "villain" (or "hero"?)?
These are uncritical generic remarks, unlike the preceding ones or the following one :-).
On a grammatical note,
I see that a lot of sandhis were found incomplete or with
superfluous oRRu. If you do not mind, I seek your permission to
employ passages from your story
as examples for the "oRRilakkaNam" thread.
Over all a very satisfying work. Congrats!
[I stumbled on this thread when I happened to look at the side bar
on the forum hub home page that had Tamil fonts showing and happened
to read your series first]
- From: chandra (@ viking.delta-air.com)
on: Wed Feb 24 19:22:57
Babu, I forgot to say that having the characters
compose poems was very nice.
And I liked the pudhuakkavidhai
that you had ezhil compose.
It seems to be all the more interesting because
of the words "viraippu" and "vicumbal".
These words seem to refer to sexual aspects...
The second one initially looked like it meant "crying" or something
like that
but I had some doubts and looked up the Cologne OTL and
got this:
vicumpu-tal (sense I):
1. to throw away in contempt; to toss aside; to cast away;
2. cf. vijr2mb to draw tight, as a rope
(sense II). to transgress; to be proud or haughty
Only sense I/ #2 seemed relevant: "to draw tight".
Has the dictionary missed the "crying/sobbing" sense?
-----
A suggestion:
I think we can follow the style of the classical literature
such as cilappathikAram and have chapters end with some
veNpA (or some pudhukkavidhai for that matter) as a mutthAyppu.
In cilampu, almost each chapter's poem itself is in Asiriyappa
(which may be 100-200 stanzas long)
most of the time but the chapter ends with a veNpA that follows
the main sequence of pAs; it seemed very refreshing and
gave a nice end to the chapter.
List all pages of this thread