Topic suggested by Udhaya on Thu Aug 13 16:05:05 .
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Responses:
- Old responses
- From: Ramji (@ 205.177.170.119)
on: Tue Oct 5 06:14:30
bb:
beautiful!
- From: Nithya (@ mecca.spd.louisville.edu)
on: Tue Oct 5 10:33:59
bb:
Very Nice. Especially liked the line "landmarks are mere marks".
Whytwokay means Y2K? Or something more?
- From: Kanchana (@ spider-we042.proxy.aol.com)
on: Tue Oct 5 19:04:45
bb, that's a real good one! the lines friends i find none, landmarks are mere marks have an underplayed poignancy about them. Some suggestions for you to consider:
1. 'reverberating' and 'resonating' are consecutive and sound redundant to me.
2. you may wish to remove the "as" in the 'as the door' since the 'as' at the start of the poem should cover it.
Hope to see more from you.
- From: bb (@ ts002d17.cha-il.concentric.net)
on: Tue Oct 5 23:25:46
thanks ramji,nithya, kanchana.. nithya, it was just to show the abbreviation (first to two digits, now Y2K itself is an abbreviation:) )
kanchana, 1. was deliberately redundant.. 2. yes, i should have removed it..
- From: K.V.Sridharan (@ clw.imr.com)
on: Thu Oct 7 15:08:10
I walked in with
my heart beat raising,
blood rushing to my head,
dreaming of pleasure
I was about to experience.
I saw a rosy picture
as long as it was a dream.
I told myself that
I have to wait for my chance.
I saw some waiting,
some in it already,
some leaving with no hope.
It was an anxious long wait
with awkward silence
and in the meantime
some more time passed.
All of a sudden my eyes opened
only to see the show is over.
There is no more fun left
and my happiness is gone for ever.
My wait starts again
and I realized
that no one is showing me
the door to the "Future".
- From: GokulaKannan (@ user-38ld09p.dialup.mindspring.com)
on: Fri Oct 8 15:56:36
Ţ..
************************
ټ Ţ
ġ Ȣ
Ũ
ç â
иǢ
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ǸǢ
âȢ
â
Ģ Ƣ
ս
¢ 츢
Ҽ
Ƣ
ɡ
*****************************
Ţâ
Ȣ
â Ţ šԼ
ɢǡ ؾ â
Ũ Ũ
Ţ
츢ȡ
Ţ
Ǣ
ź
š.
to my taxidriver friend
******************************
Ģ Ţ
[ Ģ
Ģ
Ţ Ȣ
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â â
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â
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âȢ
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ɢ ӸǢ
ɡ
ã θ駼
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ռɡ
Ǣ
ɡġ š
ŢĨ ¢ ġ!
..
***************************
Ţ Ģ
Ĩ
Ģ
Ȣ
Ƣ ¢
š
츨 Ȣ
Ȣ Ţ¡
ĸ
Ţ¡ Ţâ
Ǣ Ȣ
Ȣ Ȣ
иǡ šǢ¢
ġ
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Ȣ
š Ǣ¢
ƢŢ
⨠Ţ
Ӿ
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, â,,
!
- From: vj (@ chme6pc4.ecn.purdue.edu)
on: Fri Oct 8 20:05:51
bb,
a good poem..
the theme was kind of melancholy and the description was very well done..
yet, i think the title seems too frivolous, what say?
- From: bb (@ wolf.crhc.uiuc.edu)
on: Sun Oct 17 21:34:37
G, a nice touch in ur taxi driver friend!
vj, i don't have an answer to that:-)
KVS, a good one, apt ending to the poem too..
- From: bb (@ wolf.crhc.uiuc.edu)
on: Sun Oct 17 21:51:01
indifference
painting class
**** model
passions in paper
hunted deer
blood on the grass
excellent docu
caste clashes
fatal accidents
digested with coffee
death of a leader
fear, unstability
24 hr coverage
clock strikes twelve
a new millenium
just another day
- From: Udhaya (@ 205.218.142.217)
on: Mon Oct 18 16:47:32
Guys,
It's great to be back to some great poetry. Thanks for keeping things going here.
vj,
Your "Love Poem for a wife" shows a lot of growth. Your language is gaining a certain individuality. I opt for something other than, "You unsheathed your organ". Other than that this is a good piece from you.
In your filler poem the organ again usurps as a different part of the body, hmm. I chuckled at remembering the Indian term for harmonica in relation to your poem.
gem,
Your poems have the diction of ancient Thamizh served in a modern format. I enjoyed them.
Gokul,
You have gone beyond just coining words, phrases and expressions. Your poems are tightly packed and wholesome that single phrases don't stick out and drag attention to themselves, the whole piece works together. This is quite an achievement. Still there are some lines I treasure:
"Nanbanaaga
ennai
naan
ethirkollum
kaalam varakkoodum" says so much it could mean the narrator is a self-loather now or it could mean the narrator is expecting a lonely future where he's his only friend, but all this implied with deep undertones, Great!
"avan kangalil
satru neram
vasappattirundhadhu vaanam"
en nenjil mazhai pozhindhana ivvarigal!
bb,
Your "whytwokay" and "indifference" work as companion pieces about the millenium. I liked indifference for the effective random signs of our times. Your slowly developing a poetic persona, I'm curious about your future stuff.
KVS,
A belated welcome to a new voice. "and in the meantime some more time passed" was cool usage.
- From: Gokul (@ bhxrr1.flpk.pwcglobal.com)
on: Mon Oct 18 19:07:00
Thanks bb,Udhaya.
- From: vj (@ chme6pc4.ecn.purdue.edu)
on: Mon Oct 18 19:19:21
hasn't it been a long time, udhaya? welcome !
thanks for taking the time to comment..
what is the indian term for harmonica?
- From: Udhaya (@ 205.218.142.217)
on: Mon Oct 18 19:22:30
vj,
adhaampaa "mouth organ".
- From: K.V.Sridharan (@ 98abdd40.ipt.aol.com)
on: Mon Oct 18 19:48:09
bb and Udhaya,
Thanks much for your kind words.
- From: K.V.Sridharan (@ 98abdd40.ipt.aol.com)
on: Mon Oct 18 20:04:44
bb,
Nice flow, good choice of events and excellent presentation.
I have to say
"bb strikes again with
an indiffernce poem but
just another reality."
- From: K.V.Sridharan (@ 98abdd40.ipt.aol.com)
on: Mon Oct 18 20:09:45
She walked at a distance
I liked her and
looked for relationship.
She walked along with me
I loved her and
looked for companionship.
She walked into my life
I understood her and
looking for friendship.
- From: K.V.Sridharan (@ 98abdd40.ipt.aol.com)
on: Mon Oct 18 20:30:58
Voice of an inherited "Enterprise"
My owner was a child not long ago
changed himself into a parent
and saw his child becoming a parent too.
We saw the bright shiny day
transformed itself into a rainy day
and then became a snowing day.
I was small a while ago
managed to become smaller
and turned out to be the smallest
without changing one bit.
- From: K.V.Sridharan (@ 98abdd40.ipt.aol.com)
on: Mon Oct 18 20:38:34
Leader
I was standing
at the foot of the hill
guessing all the time
whether I would make it.
I looked back and
there was no one behind me.
I had a feeling that
there were fruits
at the top of the hill.
I had a burning desire
to give it a try.
I took some decisions
and I started claiming
towards the top of the hill.
It wasn't easy at all
but I was determined.
I saw a few on my way
heading towards the top.
Some told me to go ahead
and some told me
it is a waste of time.
At last I got there
and found the fruits.
I turned around and saw
down the hill.
I found a lot of people
following my way and
called me a "leader".
- From: gem (@ proxyr1.fresno.ca.gov)
on: Tue Oct 19 14:01:19
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